Do you ever have those moments when you feel isolated in your dreams, when circumstances confuse your calling, when uncertainty tries to steal your confidence or when plain ole' doubt hovers like a lingering cold? And, despite your mental pep-talk that goes something like, C'mon don't believe those lies. . . You know the truth . . . Don't give in to the enemy's attack . . . You still question if you accurately discern the Lord's leading . . . You still wonder if you're cut out for God's work . . . You're still unsure if you're truly being obedient to God?
Am I the only one who ever wishes for a 'burning bush' experience?
Maybe you receive a glimmer of joy: someone reaffirms your work . . . or an email lifts your discouraged heart . . . perhaps an unlikely person acknowledges the ministry God's given you . . . or someone shares your heart and passion with others . . . and maybe in the midst of nagging disappointment and indifference, God gives you an undeniable confirmation that drowns out all other pervading negative whispers in your mind that grants unwavering stability to the foundation you've been building on.
Let me tell you friends, all of these and more have occurred periodically in my writing and speaking ministry. I've extinguished fiery darts more than I count. I've silently slayed rejecting naysayers. And I've strived to follow the Lord despite the dimly lit steps I may see in front of me. The 'undeniable confirmation' I refer to is what God bestowed upon me a few weeks ago.
I was pretty low (for multiple reasons and that I allowed the enemy to drag me into a pit!). On a recent Sunday afternoon I wrote in my journal, cried, questioned and was ready to pout in the desert (just keepin' it real friends). I was one of those blubbering idiots who just let it ALL out sisters! After emotionally throwing up on God, I asked Him to help me reestablish my ministry and purpose for Him and that I would bring Him glory.
Specifically I wrote, "Lord Jesus I pray in the power of Your name that You will bless my writing, that I will bring You glory and be able to better minister to others through it - to point them to You and I pray in faith for You to bring the increase. Help me reaffirm my confidence in You." Here is where I get all emotional again. About twenty-four hours later, a brand-new, still in the box, HP laptop computer arrived (for me) by an anonymous giver, with the specific words of blessing over the writing and speaking ministry God has given me. CRAZY!!!
I'm still in shock over this one. I have long desired a laptop for many reasons, but the flexibility of being able to write away from home and still have my files is huge. (Now, if you read last week's post then you understand why I haven't purchased one.) After this gift arrived I blubbered some more with a few snorting sniffles and wrote in my journal again. I was shaken by God's timing. I felt like it was God's way of saying, "I hear your prayers Hester and I'm going to tangibly show you . . . you're going to write for Me and you're going to get published."
Not only does God abundantly provide, He providentially arrives. He knew I would crumble on Sunday only to glue my cracking insecurities and fragile misgivings on Monday. I know this wasn't a literal burning bush like Moses' encounter, but God definitely ignited a flame in my faith that will soon not extinguish.
The silent murmurs are now pushed aside.
My confidence increases as God collides, my dreams with my doubt as He provides.
I embrace the joy found as He arrives,
to remind me of the glorious path He designed for me to ride.
How about you? I would love to hear your stories of how God has confirmed His work in your life. I hope you were ministered to with a different kind of post this week.
Copyright 2013 by Hester Christensen. All rights reserved.